The New More Odoriferous Me

Can I tell you a thrilling aspect of corona induced isolation that you might not have considered?

Two pieces of background you need to understand the thrill. First, you have to know that for decades I’ve worked as makeup artist in film and television. Second, to understand my perspective you would either have to be a woman, a tv reporter, tv correspondent, an actor, or a television pundit.

Ladies first: Have you ever gotten your makeup done at a department store and your artist smelled like he or she had eaten a pile of Roquefort cheese from the compost pile? No. The answer is no you have not! They are a scrubbed cleaned and polished, always hyper aware of their personal hygiene, their appearance, smile, and whether there is any possibility of emitting offensive odors. It’s a thing. This is for obvious reasons especially so we don’t turn off any current or potential clients because of a slight miscalculation from a night of pungent odor producing debauchery. Before work it’s an intense workout of showering, and the heavy lifting all the various personal cleaning products needed for the kind of clean, freshness required to be in close proximity with others.

So imagine this; for the last 40 some years in tv and film I was one of those conscientious stylists. Out of respect for my guests (sometimes called victims – playfully of course) I wouldn’t eat garlic for dinner the night before or heaven forbid at lunch during a shoot! And if I did happen to eat the pungent herb(bulb, vegetable?) during the week, or a Sunday night, I would apologize profusely the next day as I did someone’s makeup at arm’s length (hard to do). I’d lightheartedly say, “I’m sorry, pardon my garlic hang-over.” They would laugh and say: oh I don’t smell a thing, but that would be because I would be holding my breath in between eyelash applications.

Now for the first time in decades because of isolation, I am using far less products, mostly just soap, shampoo, modest amounts of deodorant and…fanfare please…I can freely eat as much garlic as I want!!! I’m so excited for the first time in years I can really reek and I don’t have to apologize!!!  

I never thought about this before but now I can eat garlic anytime I want because of current mask-wearing-etiquette. My clients will think I’m just being politically correct! Genius, thank you covid 19, you just made a huge change in my life, that is if I ever get my job back.

Aprons, yes or no?

Do you wear an apron when you cook? I don’t. I have one, but I have never bothered to take the time the put the damn thing on. Why? Why bother? I run into the kitchen after work and begin. There is no dawdling; no pondering the situation, no gazing into the depths of the deep, dark, refrigerator. And no measuring devices will ever taint one of my dishes. Let’s just get the job done! First you open the freezer and check out the meats, and if no meats are being sacrificed, then move on to the vegetable drawer. Easy, sauces, pots, pans, a little of this and that and, voilá, we have a meal!

I’ve been told that I cook the way I paint – with no patience. When I got married, my husband was aghast at how dirty the kitchen became when I cooked. I’m still not sure what he was complaining about. I mean, I always put my ingredients away after I use them. But preparation is like conducting an orchestra. Things splatter, pop, sizzle and fly across the room. I have stopped throwing the spaghetti against the wall to see if it’s done, mostly because our ceilings are really high in the kitchen.

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Long Live Norma

I have a coat designed by Norma Komali. I bought it decades ago in the 80’s. It was at a time in my life when I could least afford it but I had to have it. It spoke to me and finally after visiting it three or four times over a couple weeks, it would not let me leave Bloomingdales without it. Continue reading

Black is the New Black

I have been in the tv and film business a long time. Just long enough to love it, hate it and love it again. About 35 years all together. As a freelancer, shows come and go. Recently I have lost one of my major network shows that I have been with for 28 years. It feels like relearning to walk in a snowstorm, on one hand and on the other, the air is fresh and clean! Because of this I am all of a sudden free to be someone else that I haven’t been for years. There was an identity associated with that position, I am no longer the person that’s been with a famous network show for half her life and knows all the DC insiders. Along with this work-fabricated-character-adjustment, I can now for the first time in decades, act and dress like a normal person! Continue reading

Fashion Industry People, Please Stand Up

This little fashion creation messes with my mind and I just have to ask, has anyone else noticed how hard they (the fashion people) make it to get in and out of a pair of trousers? Trousers being the nice, fancy, go-to-work-pants, not jeans, not leggings or sweat pants. The kind that are just a tiny bit long, the kind you might wear with heels and have sharp crisp folds running down the from of the leg. I can’t get a good enough explanation as to why there seems to be a ridiculous number of buttons, snaps, and zippers and of course a belt to fuss with just to get a pair of pants and off. Is it some kind of cruel joke the designers are playing on women? Are they all sitting around snickering as they envision some poor women jumping around in a bathroom stall, with her legs crossed in that unmistakable urgency, while desperately fumbling around with all those fasteners so that she can finally go and not pee in her pants? Continue reading